Me-Gud morning babies. Wakeup honey.

Son no 1- 5minutes.
Me-Ok bachha.
10 minutes later
Me- Good morning honey.Wakeup baby. The Suns out.
Son no 2- (Pointing to son no 1) No!he’s Stil in bed.
Me- I meant the sun. S-U-N!!!! In the sky.
Son no 1- Not in America.
Me- Ya,no I mean,ya not in America,but it is in Bangkok and in 50% of the world.
Son no 2- But the other half of the world still has night.(Eyes still shut.) Including Norway,And we are Norwegians.
Me- Right!And I’m Greta Garbo and its 22hours day In Norway.
Son no 1- Mom,don’t demean yourself. You are not garbage.
I’m not sure if I’m supposed to feel happy with that statement,or remind him he’s an offspring of people who live off films,and he ought to know Greta Garbo.
Me- Not garbage! Garbo! Like GODDESS GARBO!
Son no 2- Was she a Greek Goddess.
Me-No. She was born in Stockholm,as Greta Lovisa Gustafsson,but did American films.
Sons no 1 and 2-(Groan groan grumble grumble)
Me-Nevermind,Lets just go with Indian standard time please. According to IST,it’s day,so please wake up.
Son no 1- How do you know?
Me- (They’re really pushing me, but I’m not going to let them win.Calmly)Because I can see it.
Son no 1- You can see time,in half of the world?
Me- Yes,I have the world clock on my cell.
Son no 2- But I can’t.
Me- Thats because ure eyes are shut,and your cell is perpetually tuned into hunting for fictional characters,and the blinds are drawn.
Son no 1- Who is blind?
Me- (Incredously)No ones blind. The curtains are drawn.
Son no 2- (Still in bed,mumbling) Then why did you say blinds?
I am trying to have a logical and “I am treating you as an equal” communication with my inquisitive son. Hoping this conversation will enrich his knowledge in some way.)
Me- The roll on curtains,they are called blinds.
Son no 1- By whom?
Me-(Quickly checking with Google) The Italians.The word “Blinds” originated in 1795,in Venice actually.
Son 2- How do u know,you weren’t born then.
That makes me feel young.
Son no 1-And I doubt you know any Italians.
Me- Ofcourse I do,I know some Italians.( Furiously checking my brain for some Italian names, Fettuccine! No! Linguini!! No no,not neccesarily the pasta kinds.)
Son no 1- Who??
Me-(Eureka!!!)Antonio Vivaldi. The composer,for Baroque music,and Marco Polo,the explorer.
Son no 2-(Talks gibberish) Whats baroque?
Son no 1- Obama.
Me-Not him! ( This is not going too well! But Im not giving up. Googling Baroque) It is a style of western art music. It Was composed from 1600-1750.(before they can ask) comes from the Portuguese word,Barroco,meaning misshapen pearl.(Very pleased with myself.)
Son no 1-(Still lolling in bed,eyes shut,and mumbling) Were pearls first found in Portugal?
Me-( Dying to say “I don’t know and I don’t care.”,But can’t because I’m a cool composed,and most importantly,a well read mom)
No!,don’t know! Pearls were mostly found by cave men,in prehistoric times. No specifications of date,time,or place available.
Son no 2- YOU,don’t know?
 
Me- Google doesn’t either. Now can you please get out of bed.(feeling my impatience rising.)
Son no 2- (Mumble,mumble)
Me- What?(More mumble jumble.)
Me-WHAT????
Son no 2- Why are you screaming?
Me- (Deep breath,count till 100! Smile on face) I’m not screaming darling,it’s just how my voice is.
Son no 2- Thats not true,I have heard you whisper to your friends when you talk about us,and YOU think we can’t hear,but we can.
Me- Really??? So now it’s established,that you CAN hear. Great! And you chose to ignore me?(Check mate!!!!💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻)
Son no 2- Nevermind mom.
Me- NEVERMIND?No nevermind!!Im not buying that.
Son no 1- Its free mom.
Me-(I can feel my Anger levels rising,but I smile)🙂How would you feel if I ignored you. Would you like it?
Son no 1- Right now,we would love it if you ignored us.
Me-I love you too. (Don’t know where that came from??!!But he said “you”and “love” in the same sentence,and I take that as,their confession of undying love towards me.💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻Cant wait for it to be said in perfect,coherent,alignment.Well that too will come…🤔.In another 20yrs. But for now,from my adolescent boys,this is great!!!💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻
I feel rejuvenated,and try with more gusto.
Me- Babies,I love you’ll so much,now please wake up.
Son no 2- Why?(Eyes must deffinately be rolling into their hairline ,but I can’t see them as their lids are shut.Lucky them.)
Me- Why????(did he say why??!!)BECAUSE…..(lower volume,smile plastered,thankgod I’m an actor)
It’s what you do,when the sun comes up. Remember???
Son no 1- How do you know!!
Me-(Total snap!!) BECAUSE IM YOUR MOTHER AND I CAN SEE!!!(I open the blinds for effect)
Son no 2- (Peeking through slits of eyes.) There’s no sun mom,it’s evening.
Me- There is……😱Oh my god!They are right. To my horror,It actually is evening. I have spend the better part of my day trying to wake them up.🙈
I Remembered one of the first things I learnt as a mom. Pick the battles you want to fight.
I wish myself better luck tommorow, and decide to find a better opening line. 
“Good night” may be!