So…….

I have tried everything , sticking adamantly to my ground. alternating between screaming to make my point or hiding and avoiding them.

But they are a majority. My family of 3…

One is Extremely style conscious and stylish. 😏

The second is “I don’t care.”😑

And the third is “One good tee 24/7 till it tears.”😁

Have all decided to revamp the fourth embarrassing hobo in their family.🙈

I hate it with all my might and am fighting it tooth and nail but now they’re suggesting gel nails n teeth whitening. So I consider running away but they catch me(sportsmen!!) physically pick me up and drag me to the stores I look down upon condescendingly. I don’t have anything against brands but I really don’t see their place or need in my life.

It’s not like carrying a Hermes is gonna turn me into Angelina Jolie. 😍

The closest I came to was when Spanx (the one brand I bought) made my (one)leg look like the full size of Gywneth Palthrow. But Not in height.😤And still my size got nowhere close to what I scored in maths. ( which was pretty low.)

What is the point of buying a LV wallet when there’s no money left to put into it. So LeaVe it.

And I’d rather buy a one room apartment than a bag. Atleast I’ll fit into it.

My Stylish son knows all the brands more than he knows me. Right now he’s throwing a dictionary of words which I think charge copyright just for being used.

Son 1-LV, Gucci, Ferragamo, Todd’s,

I think he means “Love (have you) gotcha, (time) foragame today?!!!!

What game I ask? Carom, Pictionary? Scrabble???

He nods disappointed.

Son 1-Mom brands. You have to know them and use them.

Me- try me. (Little does he know I’m gonna use them in a tête-à-tête hes never expected or experienced before.)

The other “Living in the same tee.” Child says-Supreme

Me- thank you baby. That I am.

Son 1-Balenciaga????

Ofcourse balance jayega if we spend so much money on things we don’t need. (I assumed it meant to lose balance in spanish.)😁

Son 2- Try Off white☺️

Me- No!White is my favourite colour!

Son 1- you have heard of Goyyard. 🙄

Me- I’m an art student for gods sake ofcourse i know Goya.🤓

They look at me incredulously.

Son 2- you do know Burberry and Prada???🙏🏻

Me- it’s a fruit and it’s not Prada. The films called La Strada.

They’re running out of patience but they don’t give up. Like I said They have decided to revamp me,my vocabulary, my wardrobe and educate me on the high life (which they think is as important as air(max).

Son 1- (still testing my general knowledge)YSL??

Me- (getting irritated ) Dont think I can’t understand your short forms.

Son 1- Short forms???🧐

Me-“Why slow” I knew u said that.

Both sons share a look and say- Vlone

Me- No your not alone even I can use short forms. So never ever again complain about my short hand text and pretend to not understand.

Son 1-“Yeezys”😇

Did he just tell me to go easy??😡

Me- Apologise

Son 1- Vetament???

Me- No I can’t wait- a-minute. now.

Son 2- Dior😒

Me- exactly “Do it now or regret.”😈

Son 2- Bape😙

And now he calls me babe🙄🙄🙄

This dum charades is not working.

They disconnect the conversation and drag an uninterested me into a huge store with pure leather sofas. While they’re scouting for stuff for me I make myself comfortable on the sofa. Using its silk cushions as a head rest. After some time I’m woken by two tall hissing sons. Their faces are red with embarrassment and are whispering. Maybe theres imperative volume control in such stores.

Me- are we ready to leave???😁😁😁

and they whisper through gritting teeth- not yet.

Me- then why have you woken me up?

Sons in unison- you can’t sleep here.

🤔well the sofas are comfortable and have cushions.

They select bags for me I say no, they argue it’s going to change the way people will see me. Will They see me as Kate winslet? They have no answer. So I’m going back to sleep till you’ll are ready to

Leave. B4 I can sit down They have held my hands and pulled me out. I am led to yet another store where the bags to the jackets are all locked onto the hangers behind glassed shelves. Reminds me of parked cycles. They pick out jackets for me, long jackets, denim jackets, leather jackets, trench coats, fleece overcoats, . 🙄

Me- Where will I wear them?😳I don’t live in Switzerland remember.

Husband- When you go for meetings. 😁

Me- in Switzerland????

Him- no in Bombay.

Me- Oh I didn’t know I was replacing Cummberbacht in Sherlock.

Or Patrick swazzey in dirty dancing.

Husband- you’ll look more professional.

I remind him I’m not in ‘Suits’ and if I go to meet people in suits they’ll probably think I’m crazy.

He doesn’t give up and makes me try 15 different kinds, I reject all pick the cheapest denim jacket and turn to run.

Exhausted disappointed dejected they still don’t give up. they lead me to a shoe shop. Givenchy boots. Muted gold. Very beautiful. But I’m not Madonna nor Cinderella. And I might look a little out of place wearing a fleece over coat and boots while I go buy groceries. Ok when I go to see a film. Or a meeting. First I’ll turn into a slime ball with all the humidity. 🤯and two I’ll have to make sure I get the roads carpeted before I wear those boots. 😤should I carry a Hunter????🤔Nah a little much. Don’t want to over kill.

They’ve come back with another pair of shoes i had tried n told me to wear them right now and yes you’ll won’t believe me actually made me change into a new tee and threw away my old tee.

How did I feel????? They asked

Me- the same but have a shoe bite. And so I took off my shoes and shamelessly walked around the stores in socks till I could find a pair of slip ons which wouldn’t require me to sell an arm.

I appreciate their love and concern for me. They can’t see me in old loose worn out tracks and even looser linen dresses and white tees that have lost shape. But I love those clothes. And it’s not about a brand, it’s about what I like wearing and what I’m comfortable in. Ok let’s avoid comfortable coz for me that spells pyjamas. It’s not that I don’t buy good stuff it’s just not branded. I never compromise on skin care products or perfumes or makeup or Nike’s. I don’t have jimmy shoos but I have my very own nice shoes.

And they don’t get it. I don’t need a revamp I need a overhaul. New body, new face, new height, rhinoplasty, tummy tuck, stretch mark and double chin removal bla bla bla and I’ll still b the same. And I like myself in my lose old comfy clothes and colours. I don’t mean to look like a hobo but that’s just a side effect of the way I dress. But please note that I clean up well when I want to. And I can dress like a diva once in a year which is good enough for me. And for my meetings I don’t wear hobo clothes I wear uniform blue jeans white/black shirt.simple.

I have lost them somewhere happily hidden away in a coffee shop when they find me again. Have they planted a tracker in me???😱😱😱😱

They return with bags and bags of stuff. Goodies I guess 😁but not one bag has mnms or marshmallows. 🤨

But it’s all for me. Jackets, bag, wallet , shoes, etc etc etc.

I love them not for the stuff they got me but the patience and concern and interest with which they’ve spend this day only for me.

I look at all 3 of them with overflowing emotion and say- I LOve ull Babes…….😘😘😘😘

Both sons chyme together-

“Mom it’s Bape”

And we drive off into the sunset babies, babs, Bape and babe together.