Its Raksha bandhan. And I obviously go for it. Who doesn’t like pocket money?Brother calls.

Brother- Are you coming?(Sounding Disinterested.)😲

I choose to hear hope in his voice. Like “I hope she says yes.💃🏻”But it’s more like “I hope she says no.😬”

Me- Ofcourse I am.💃🏻Are you trying to avoid me.😡

Brother- Obviously. 

We share a very honest relationship. And we both are optimistic.

Me- I am coming so get a gift.Tangible gift. Ideally the kind that can be used for barter.

Before he can react ,I cut the call.

As an afterthought,I text him.

P.S.-“Read my blogs,And get ready for the viva.

I block him on watsapp. Temporarily.We do love eachother. May be not so much right now,but we do.

So I get there and there’s much excitement,love and laughter and food. 

We get down to business.I tie him rakhi,no gift yet.😡.I give him another opportunity to redeem himself.🙄

Me- I assume you all have read my blogs.What do you’ll think?

Everyone leaves the room in perfect synch.That’s strange.🤔Anyway I wait.

They reemerge after a bit,hoping I have forgotten,but I haven’t.

Me- Okay,so what do you all have to say about my blogs.

Seems like Everybody’s suddenly been hit by an epidemic. All are deaf,dumb mute,or all three.🙊🙉🙈

My brother decides to be the spokesperson.

Brother- It’s nice.

Obviously he hasn’t read my blogs. I did mention in one of them how I detest the word “nice”.

Brother- You write too fast.

Me-Are you crazy,I type with one finger.😳

Brother- No,I mean,you write the way you talk or think.🙄

Me- Obviously I do. I’m not translating other’s thoughts.😄

Brother- It’s great,but You need to proof read before you post it.

Why does he think I’m an idiot?

Me- Ofcourse I do.🙄

Brother-(Shocked)😱You check your writing and then post???

Me-(Very proud of myself) Ya.Check and recheck.😄

Brother- So what happened to all the punctuations and spellings.😳

Me- I do put comas.🤔

Brother- You sprinkle,them liberally. You can’t just use them after every two words because they are free.

Me- Every four words. Okay, sometimes three. Okay even two words.🤔But I put them in a way it looks aesthetically correct.

Brother-(exasperated)This is not a painting.😖

Me-I’m kidding.(Whatever happened to his sense of humour)I put them as and when my thought changes.😀 

Brother- Your thoughts change every quarter of a second. Even seconds hand on the clock don’t change position that fast.

Me- It’s like a beat.

Brother- It’s like palpitation during a panic attack.And what’s with the ellipses? dot dot dot?

Me- To show “continuation of a thought”😇

Brother- That can only work if you are going to continue the thought on the next…..,,

Me-Page?

Brother-No,that’s pto. 

Me-But there’s no book.

Brother-Next episode sister.🙈

Now he thinks this is a daily soap.🙄

Brother- I meant next blog or post.😰And where are the capitals?

Me-In their respective countries.Delhi is Stil here.😯

Brother-I meant capital letters.😖

Me-(Is he blind?) Ofcourse there are capitals.

Brother- 5 capital letters in 25 blogs is not a good ratio.🙄And you can’t keep reposting And then sharing it too.

Me- Its called perseverance.I’m just making sure I get it right.

Brother-Wrong.Its called pestering. And your spellings are….

Me- My phones autocorrect isn’t correct.

Brother- Have you considered,that you are no where in a five mile radius,to the word you are thinking.

My kid brother, how I love him despite his dyslexia.

Me- (Calmly.)But you understand it don’t you?

Brother-I do because,I know you.

Me-The others will too. Don’t underestimate the readers,I have complete faith in their ability.

Brother- You are not listening.

Me-And you are not reading.

Brother- (Giving up.)Listen,you are witty,funny,wicked. But for the ones who know you,because it’s distinctly your voice. 

Me- Obviously because I’m not a ventriloquist.

Brother-(Given up!)Why don’t you try a pod cast.

I have just graduated from switching on the fan, to typing and publishing my blogs. 

Me-Slow Bro. 🙏🏻One step at a time.I still have to learn to type with both hands.

Brother- That’s the point,you don’t have to type,you can just say it to the camera,and put it on you tube.I’ll make you a channel.

Me- Like net flix?😍😍That’ll be very expensive.😱

Brother- It’s free sister. Let me do it right now.🙄

Me- Are you serious?😳😍💃🏻

Brother is now on his laptop looking like a pro. 

My bro is a pro!

My slo bro is a pro!

Brother- What’s your email id?

I give it.

Brother- Don’t you have one on Google.

Me-(Thinking hard)I do.

Brother- Whats the password?

Me- My elder sons name.

Brother-(Tries.)Wrong.

Me-The younger ones then.

Brother-(Tries again)Wrong.

Me-My birthdate.

Brother- Are you asking me or telling me?

Me- I’m giving you options.

Brother-Bye!

Me- Okay okay.Try flat no,pin code,wedding anniversary 

Brother-Which one? First or second.

Me-Shutup! Height.

Brother-When you were 4 or 40?

Me-Oh! Try age.

Brother-That would depend on when you made this account sister.

Me-You are not helping me.

Brother- Right. Let’s just put a new password.

I can’t remember my old one and now he’s giving me a new password.He just doesn’t get it. ADD!

He’s unforgiving. He gives me a new password,which he promises to remember,Explains to me how I can shoot a clip and put on you tube,and promises to watch each and every clip of mine.

I start to like hiM a little now.

He hands me back my phone,which now looks like a new Lego set with endless possibilities.Wishes me luck,and says “Go shoot sister,the world is waiting.”

I dab on some gloss,open my hair switch on the camera,And die of shock.

Me-I am NOT THIN,and my hair is wayward.Can you make me look thin in this phone.And my hair…..

But my brother has eloped.ADHD!

Dejected I switch off my phone,tie my hair in a messy knot,and look for a pen or pencil to hold my boisterous locks,when my brother miraculously reappears.

He hands me a gift,mutters I love you and leaves.

It’s a diary and a stylus and a pen .

I love my brother.I love paper and I love pens,they rein my riotous waves and unleash my tempestuous thoughts.