A long time ago I met an incredible woman. She was older than me. I was in my 20s n she was in her early 40s. She was beautiful. Big huge eyes, which sparked Joie de vevire and suddenly dimmed to depths imperceptible. Supple olive coloured clear skin,that would turn to flaming orange when she tanned, or blushed. Her sun burnt hair that she callously knotted on top of her head or the nape of her neck added to her unpredictability. Her hands and feet were beautiful, long fingers and toes, no nail paint. Clean clear soles. Like her soul. She was brazen, benevolent with love, passionate, intense,a risk taker and a hard core romantic in this practical world. She had a sense of humour that could shock you as it turned wicked.

She was someone special. She didn’t belong to this world. One of her kind and yet she believed she was nothing but ordinary. And that was her uniqueness…..

I remember every detail of where I met her, what she wore, what I wore, the weather the country the province but that has no place here. It’s not important. What is important was the dialogue I had wit her.

After the Initial introduction. And the polite exchange of ‘hi how are you this is my name the weathers kinda cold,.’there was a silence.

I asked her “where are you traveling.”

She mentioned some place and I asked again. “ For what are you traveling there? Work?” and she said “ No! love,”

I love love stories and couldn’t resist this one.

me- “Oh the one you love is there?”

She said-“ No! I don’t know. But I’m going to take a chance.”

I didn’t understand and I guess she read the confusion on my face.

“I almost thought I had found him but it ended in 8 years of a futile marriage. After that I met someone else and he eloped, and someone else and he ran and someone else and he vanished.” She laughed.

I was loosing the thread and I think she read it.

She said still laughing-“ I’m not a slut, nor a man eater. I don’t believe in flings and one night stands and friends with benefits. I believe in love. And I know it can happen any time anywhere. Unexpectedly it’ll turn out from nowhere and hit you like a ton of bricks. Leaving you humbled by its magnitude.”

Me-“ So didn’t they see this too.”

She replied-“ I guess they did briefly. But were ill equipped to handling it and faving it head on.”

She continued-

“One moment im awe inspiring, attractive as hell ,passionate like they’ve never met or seen before, an incarnate of love and romance. even magic. (And all these are their words not mine.) and the next ,it’s on your marks, get set, go!

I scare people away.”

I looked at her incredulously. From where I sat and what I saw she didn’t have fangs nor claws. She was magic.

She continued-“I do.”

Me- “how can that be. If someone like this fell in love with me I’d be blown away to a dream land where poetry’s still writen in blood.”id be lucky to find this kind of love.”

She laughed out aloud. And then something in her eyes softened to melancholy.

She spoke from her heart. I could see that. She was transparent like water. Honest, raw, organic. Not a fake note in her body.

Her voice softened and she almost spoke to herself-

“Brutally honest, unabashedly bare, excessively passionate, extremely involved. Obsessive loving, unrealistically romantic,Exaggeratedly intense. Impassioned. This is my chemical default.

Me-“ No No these are your strengths. That’s what makes you unique.”

She said- “ These exact strengths turn into my nemesis, my weakness, my cross to carry.”

I couldn’t hold back my anger anymore. I blurted – “you are Plethora of emotions.”

And she said calmly with no trace of bitterness in her voice- “And they are barren.”

With all due respect to all of them they got overwhelmed with my over emotional being.”

I said-“ but over emotional is gud, it’s very gud…. what is wrong with it?”

She giggled and leant over like she was sharing a secret.-“I searched the synonym for over emotional and all words that showed up were negative.

Melodramatic,theatrical, hammy, artificial…… there’s a list….. and non of its complementary.

Me-“How can that be??????”

She continued-“So I checked for the opposite of over emotional?

And it says “Normal!!!!!”

And she threw her head back and laughed. A laugh you would want to record and replay on a loop. Bright, vivacious, honest, no malice no bitterness. Just an incredulous laugh tinted with brutal realisation.

I was so upset by all the men who threw away this precious gift of a soul. Didn’t they see they were lucky to be touched by love, experience intense passion and romance that only happens in books and films and they threw it away. They threw her away. Letting her believe it was her fault.

I asked angrily-“ What kind of men are these.”

And she replied calmly- “All kind of men, are these.

Me-“And You stil won’t give up? Aren’t you disillusioned?”

She chuckled and said- “You don’t give up on love. You don’t give up on the magic that romance brings into a mundane life. I never would.

Me- “But why don’t you stop spreading yourself so thin, why do you let them walk over you. Why do you let your joy depend on these jerks. You are more than complete in yourself. I haven’t met anyone who is so rich and dense and fertile and adventurous and giving as you. Can’t they see it????

She refilled my glass I guess to calm me down and said- “Do you know what they see…..?

Me- “What?”

She took her time not to articulate her words because I could allready see them formed in her head. But she took time to break this to a naive me. And gently she said-

“You know the soda machine, you put in a coin,get a chilled soda, you enjoy it for a bit, some have a couple of sips and then they’re bored, some consume it full. But either ways when their done, they crush the can and chuck it into the garbage never to think of it again.

She stopped for a couple of moments To let it sink into me.

And then she said.- “ I am a love vending machine.”

She picked up her bag ready to leave. Before leaving she turned around held my face in her palms, I could see my reflection in her eyes. And she said-

“ Never ever give up on love. It’s the only magic which will keep your insanity intact in this sane world.” And she left.

I sat there for a long time after she was gone nursing a broken heart, staring at the vending machine which didn’t give love.