It’s not easy to live with me!Stop!!! Right now,all those who have raised their hands to vouch for it!

I say this for myself.

I feel in extremes.Nothing in between. No normalcy,no balance! No fulcrum. I AM,extremes.

I envy people who are normal. I do! And yet I wouldn’t change my craziness,madness,insanity, impulsiveness,for anything.            I know it,as,passion!

But,it’s overwhelming,the intensity,energy,passion,even for myself.

I could climb the Everest,go to the moon and back,paint an apartment,write a thesaurus,cook for a wedding party,clean cupboards, mine,and all my neighbour’s,read a 5000page book,shoot,shoot for a film shoot some people,and yet,at night as I lie exhausted I will wonder,”So what exactly did I do today?” And that’ll be the end of my ever elusive slumber.

So,if and when,I get my hair or nails coloured,or am stuck in traffic,or am waiting for a call you can imagine what it does to me. Its claustrophobic to say the least.     It takes refrain of epic proportions,to not kill someone,or,myself.

And everything has to be right now! If it’s in my heart,it has to take form,and in full magnitude. In absolute.

I will love,not like.

I will hate,not dislike.

I will be selflessly involved,not just polite.

I will be selfishly detatched,not just ignore.

I will fight,not protest.

I will be ecstatic,not happy. 

I will laugh out aloud,not chuckle.

I will be crushed,not sad.

I will cry,not weep.

I will spill my heart,not guard my words.

I will be expressive,Not diplomatic.

I will be callous,not cautious.

I will be reckless,not careful.

I will be aggressive,not angry.

I will be crazy,not calm.

Everything is too much,or,too little.

That’s who I am,and I don’t regret it one bit. I wouldn’t recognise my self,if I was any different
Yes! Its exhausting.                           Its all consuming,and it’s not easy. Everything,is too much,or,too little.

But this is me! Extremely me!