I’m excited, anxious,tentative, apprehensive, nervous and so much more. 
I AM GOING BACK TO SCHOOL!!!!!💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻

It’s unbelievable even for me. Last year was a difficult year for me and I would never have thought I would be here boarding a flight to take on a very exciting new adventure.

It’s the kind of thing I read in books or see in films. A Woman wants to find herself, she takes off to a new continent to discover her lost self.

Yes I was lost.Of course you’ll would think I do have a great life and touchwood I do but that doesn’t stop me from feeling what almost every woman feels after living the better part of her life, as a mother, wife, daughter, daughter-in-law, a homemaker, an organiser, planner, production manager, a chef, nurse, maid and every other single role on the planet except who she really was. 

Some women are forced to loose their essence while some like me have done so out of choice. And I don’t regret it one bit. But I miss the person I used to be.

I had lost her somewhere along the way. All of me centred around others. I was just waiting. Waiting for the weekend, waiting for some time with my husband, waiting for a great role, waiting for my kids, waiting for a great maid, waiting for our family dinners and vacations,waiting for appreciation and love that matched my capacity of loving and giving. Basically waiting for some magic to touch my life.  I was waiting endlessly for my life to happen to me. 

And I was done waiting. 

That’s where it started. Casual comments of “Get a life Shef.” pushed me to.

 It’s unbelievable right??? But me,with a life, could still need to get HER OWN LIFE back. Be her own person.

I can’t reinstate enough that being some one in relation with others was not forced on me. It was my choice. But everyone else had progressed and were busy with their respective lives while I waited on as a mom,wife,daughter-in-law and home maker and a not so satisfied actor. 

That’s where It started. As an application I send on a lark to 3 art academies and an art retreat across the globe,just to gauge the standard of my art works. And voila I got accepted in 2 art academy’s and the art retreat too. International professionals think my work has some standing that by itself is a big high for me. My works are not just a bored housewife’s hobby but it was a passion worth pursuing. And,not in acting,which is what I’ve always done, but painting which is an entirely new horizon for me

The next step was actually taking head on,a new life far from my luxurious comfort zone. And I am doing just that. I am diving head on.

Today I am venturing into a whole new world. I’m leaving for a three month art course to Spain. Im going back to being a student. 

By the time you’ll will read this I’ll be half way across the globe, taking steps or rather flight into my new world.

I am kind of freaking out. I don’t have an apartment in place,I can’t speak the language, its a new field all together, a new world, with challenges and hurdles,and the support system of my family and friends far away.And I’m not exactly a teenager. Of course it’s very Exciting,but daunting too.

I’m thinking back to when I was the most fearless and I can’t help but think of my kids. No! Their arrival made me the most fearful person in this world. I feared for their safety,security, well being, growth, their food and hygiene,their health and the company they kept to everything. That’s when I earned the tittle “Paranoid..” Being a parent means being fearful and yet fearsome too…..and I am both. 

But I thought of them because I see them as an embodiment of fearlessness. In fact all kids. 

Kids are way more adaptable to change. 

Every zone is their comfort zone once their feet are wet and hair is flying free.

 It just takes a ‘Hello.” To break the ice,become friends and make the place home. 

They aren’t afraid to fall,they just pick themselves up,tie their shoe laces tighter put on a bandaid and move on. 

They are not bogged down by failures. Failure to them means to falter, acknowledge it and correct it and succeed.

They accept their defeat without any ego and appreciate others victories as far as the end result is a party whoever may be the reason. 

They accept mistakes and believe there’s Nothing a ‘sorry’ can’t repair. 

They don’t turn their ignorance into arrogance but into acceptance of the uncharted and unknown. And welcome it with an open mind and an abundant heart.

Kids don’t see life as a battlefield nor others as a battalion. They see life as a playground and all they care about is playing,not JUST winning. 

They are liberal with ‘sorry’ and ‘thank you’ and pinky promises. 

Their egos aren’t as fragile as ours and yet, neither is their self confidence ephemeral. They know how to live each moment to the fullest.

Their future is extended till the next morning and it’s bright as the sunshine. And it’s absolutely achievable.

They aren’t afraid to be judged because for them it’s transient and not life defining. For they don’t owe any explanations to anyone and are absolutely unapologetic for who they are. Their hope and confidence and trust in themselves and situations is eternal. Thus being the truest version of themselves. 

I am going to follow in their foot steps. I am going to step out of my comfort zone. Be it Risk taking,trusting,or learning and growing. And I will believe that This is just a chapter in my life and a beautiful one. It does not determine who I am. But only I have the power to determine how this chapter pans out and I decide today that come what may it will be enriching. It won’t be easy but then there’s nothing a little faith,a bandaid or a candy can’t solve.

I am not just going back to school, I’m going back to being a child again. 

And hence commence the adventures of TinTin.