Being a parent is not easy. Infact it’s the toughest job in the world. Particularly a mom. I liked to believe I’m a “Cool mom.” I’m fun,I’m crazy,I’m silly,I can talk about sex and abuses keeping my face straight and be witty about it. But I’m mistaken. I’m not a cool mom. Definitely not to my kids. I am,to my kid’s friends and to my friend’s kids. But not to my own. For my kids ,I’m Cinderella’s step mom.Cruella! Probably worst. They won’t remember all the love and care and sleepless nights and over the top meticulous planning that went into raising them. They probably won’t remember the hugs and kisses and “I love you” said over the years.                       They may not remember that at a point of time their lives revolved around me. And only I was the only one for them. When i had all the answers and the solutions. When I was their security blanket. And There was nothing I couldn’t heal with a kiss and a bandaid.     But now that they ve grown up,through their adolescent eyes all they will remember is that I was wicked,cruel,strict and a boring nag who either gave instructions or sermons about values.

I wish I could change it but I can’t. I wish I could tell them,that babies you’ll grew out of that security blanket because I pushed you to broaden your horizons. I insisted you do your own work so you’ll could be independent and self sufficient and fend for your selves. I was mean to you at times so you could know how it feels to be hurt and to teach you respect. I reminded you of your “please and thank you” so you would understand the need to appreciate and not take for granted. I I let you fail so you could appreciate others successes and Learn from others and strive to better your self. I cracked jokes at myself and you so you could be confident and strong and have a sense of humour . I picked on you and tortured you almost,to teach you discipline. I prodded you for honesty. I deprived you of so many things just so you know,that happiness doesn’t come only from the things you buy. I ignored your wants of all the things your friends had,to tell you,that someone will always have something more than you,but that doesn’t make you any lesser. I kept telling you of the hardships people face so you could be prepared to face the world. I forced you to open your eyes and see how deprived and unfortunate some people are so you could value what you have. I nagged and fired you to switch off your phone so you could talk and spend time with your loved ones instead. I let you fall because you could be stronger and because I knew I was there to pick you up. I sulked when I needed attention so you could understand that everyone needs love and care. I let you know when I was tired so you would know that the strongest can be vulnerable and weak too and it’s fine. I forced a hug out of you because You could see that everyone needs to be loved and shown it. I argued with you so you Could think for yourself and yet,not just about yourself. 

I know I wasn’t a cool mom,like your dad who indulged you always,gave you whatever you wanted,let you have your way. 

But I did it so you could be your own person. 

And while doing so I know I reduced my chances of being “God” in you eyes. But I did it anyway because I love you more than you will ever know. 

I gave you roots and wings. Knowing very well that you will soar high. You will travel the world,probably make a house else where,own a different citizenship. And watching you fly high and scale new heights overwhelms me with pride.

 But believe me letting you go is the most difficult part of being a parent. It’s like watching my heart walk outside my body. And yet,I propell you to take flight.

But my babies always remember even if I was wrong and not the best mom in the world,or the kind of mom you would have chosen,I am still here. 

I am the home you were born in. The home you grew up in.This home,even if it is old and boring and backward and uncool,it will always be here waiting for you,hoping that you come back to me.